Chocolate Experience Writing

We have been learning how to do a new style of writing. It is experience writing. In each different topic of experience writing we do 6 attempts. Our first attempt is boring without any wow words. This is my Chocolate Experience Writing. I learnt how to re-craft my writing and then get to go through and see my improvement from attempt 1 to attempt 6.

This is my first attempt with no wow words

I reached into the bowl I picked a square of chocolate I set it down on my book as I filled out the sheet. I filled them all in other than the taste. I picked up me chocolate and looked at it happily. I closed my eyes as the chocolate entered my mouth. It tasted like a chocolate milkshake it went down my throat and I filled in the square then I took another bite which was when the full flavour kicked. It melted on my tongue and slid down my throat. I took my final bite it was melting and very cholatey. It was a good time.

This is my final attempt with plenty of wow words

I reached into the bowl eagerly I picked a cube of pale light brown creamy dairy milk chocolate I lay it down on my book as I filled out the form other than the taste. I picked up the pale chocolate and looked at it anxiously. I sealed my eyes as the chocolate entered my mouth. It tasted like a delicious chocolate and caramel well blended milkshake it went down my throat and I filled in the square with my first thoughts then I took another bite which was when the full flavour kicked in. It disintegrated on my tongue and slid down my esophagus . I took my final bite it was melting and very appetizing. It was an incredible experience.